Confession of an Actuary

My love for you is like a perpetuity;

it goes on forever.

Are you short on derivatives?

I’d like to give you a call later.

What is P(you ∩ me)?

Since the first time I saw you,

my interest in you have compounded continuously.

You know, the corr(me, A good time) = 1.

Would you like to simulate stock prices

and take a random walk with me?

For my job, I analyze lots of numbers.

What’s yours?

If I were a scatterplot,

you’d be my best-fit line.

(quoted from the Actuarial Club of University of Wisconsin-Madison)